“This has been one crappy week. Why would anyone build a nuclear power plant on top of a hellmouth. Owen’s a jerk. If he were some regular shmoe, I’d let it pass, but the guy is a vampire and he knows we’re sitting on the equivalent of some supernatural A-bomb.
Getting shot sucks. What sucked even more was waking up to find out Calliope went evil on us. Her magic stuff scares me sometimes…it’s not exactly natural. And she does way too much of it. I wonder if she has trust issues. But anyway, I wasn’t all that worried about Calliope. She’s got a great heart. It was all a matter of helping her overcome the bad mojo she sucked down. She was all sad after the fact too…but, hey, you just can’t control some stuff. She’s a lot like me. I like that. Well, it’s kind of weird, but I like it anyway. I wonder what would happen if we both just lost control and started killing people. Would we kill each other? Hmmmm…sounds like it’d make a cool movie. Werewolf versus witch. I think I’d win. Not that I’d want to kill her. But I’m pretty bad-ass.
It’s cool that Calliope came with me to the races. I liked showing her off. She looked so hot, some guy wanted to race me for her. She wouldn’t have liked him anyway. And I probably would’ve had to kill him if I lost. Not that I would’ve lost. His car sucked. Calliope does a really good job of making me feel like a king, even when she’s got her own troubles. I wonder if she realizes how much I love her. I wonder if I do the tough, macho guy thing too much. I should probably tell her I love her more often. But that’s tough. I wonder if she wants me to marry her and have a family. I wouldn’t mind little Eddies running around. Maybe we’d get a dog. How would I afford all that, though? Man, I need more money. I’m really a loser. Calliope treats me a lot to Suzie Q’s. That place has great ribs. But I need a better job. And I should stop smoking weed. I waste too much money on it. Yeah, but it’s awesome…and it helps the wolf. Yeah…you’re a good boy…you’re a good wolf, aren’t you?
Oh man, Hughbert’s dead, but not really. And Aunt Rose is back. That’s too much for me to think about. I like having Aunt Rose around…she’s like a mom. My mom was such a whore. Aunt Rose takes care of Calliope and me. I don’t know why I feel so attached to her…it’s like instinct. But Hughbert’s not really dead. We should be looking to bring him back. I don’t know if Aunt Rose will die, but Aunt Rose should be dead already. It’s just the way life is…it’s natural…she died…Hughbert didn’t. Well, Aunt Rose was killed…it wasn’t really natural. Maybe we can have them both. Why haven’t we even bothered to try and get Hughbert back? And why did he get replaced so quick? What the hell kind of factory do they think we’re running here? We can’t just replace people like that. Especially not with Edward Whats-his-name. I think I should eat that guy. Nobody would find him. He’s one of those people that just takes up space and doesn’t really do anything. He called my parents. My mom called me. I could eat her too. None of my friends know I have a mom, they wouldn’t miss her. They’re really the ones that count anyway. I’m glad I fight against evil, because then I don’t feel so bad about ripping up bad guys. It was cool smashing those vampires’ heads together, and that one time I cut the guy’s head off while his head was in my hand…that rocked. I wonder if that freaks my friends’ out. I’ll just tell them that it’s good ‘tactics’. Besides, I only kill bad people. They have to die, anyway..might as well have some fun.
…I need some new weed. I’m not high anymore. I’m gonna go grab some chow. Maybe I’ll hit BK.”Eddie Fence